Tag Archives: change

Feb24

Another Day, Another Choice

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Another day is drawing to a close and once again I am having doubts (darn my overactive brain) about my healthy living decision…it would be so much easier if I wasn’t so impatient.
I stopped drinking soda and kinda expected that I would magically feel stronger…of course it doesn’t actually work that way. Just as removing sweets and most fast food from my diet didn’t automatically make me a pert size 6 either (geez I wish it were that simple, I’d be a billionaire!)
Well anyway, if you are a regular reader then you know that I am working hard to get myself back to a state of good health, not just for me but for my family and friends who’s lives and happiness mean so much more to me than my own selfish gratification.
However having said that, today was one of temptation…it was Girl Scout Cookie day. A co-worker friend of mine whom I adore has a lovely young daughter who sells these miracles in a box, these tasty treats that take me back to my own 11 years in uniform, going to camp and singing “make new friends” etc. This girl also writes personal thank-you notes to everyone who buys her cookies-how could I resist? Health and waistline be damned!
So my botanist co-worker and I (who have a get healthy pact) [he just had a mild heart attack at age 50] relaxed our rules for today only. We decided that total denial would be even more harmful than an occasional indulgence. Thus the first challenge of our year of healthy living has passed. Everything in moderation.

Just to be safe though, I did give away the rest of the cookies to other people. I have willpower but I’m not crazy!

Tomorrow’s another day!

Jan22

The Year Of Healthy Living

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Back in the waning hours of 2009 I wrote what remains to be one of my favorite posts concerning the things I had accomplished the previous year. I promised to follow-up with a more traditional approach to the new year with both resolutions and a lovely idea courtesy of Ms. Holly Hoffman, picking a theme for the year. My choice: The Year of Healthy Living.
Well needless to say, I got a little sidetracked and here it is quickly approaching the end of January and I have yet to deliver on my promise. So for that I am sorry but in the spirit of my chosen theme-the year of healthy living-I am making the conscience decision to set aside my unrealistic perfectionist tendencies and simply pick up where I left off. After all mental health is just as important as being physically sound.

Although I would not classify myself as a sickly person, I think just about everyone I have ever known would agree (with no exaggeration intended) that I have cheated death on more than a few occasions. From tornadoes, to sinking houseboats to fires and car accidents, it seems I have been inches from an untimely end more times than I care to count. I am probably also the most accident-prone person in the world. Case en point: Just in 2009 I dislocated my jaw, suffered a severe concussion after a nearly drowning when a boat flipped over on top of me, broke my toe and my hand and then endured nerve damage to my shoulder. I also survived hypothermia, and pneumonia as well as a pretty severe allergic reaction to inhaling rhododendron while on the fire line.

I tend to be anemic, cold averse with extremely low blood pressure, have poor circulation, brittle bones and heart disease (the scary kind that makes you drop dead at 50) runs rampant in my family. I have already endured a hysterectomy for cervical cancer, gall stones, a ruptured liver duct, petit-mal seizures, at least seven broken bones and am nearly blind in my left eye from a degenerative disease of the cornea.

Most people I tell this too just stare at me. I suppose I am blessed to have made it to 30.

So on that depressing note – I have decided to make this the year of healthy living. I intend to be more cautious, eat better and exercise more. I will not avoid the doctor and the dentist for fear of another crazy diagnosis but instead be much more proactive about my health.

After all, I have three beautiful babies that I really want to be around for, for as long as I my time on this Earth allows. I know it won’t be easy and I will have to make some tough choices but I figure it people I admire like Holly can do it, than so can I.

Wish me luck.

I think I’ll need it!

Nov18

Things do happen for a reason…sometimes you just have to wait…

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I haven’t posted in a while. I have been incredibly busy with work and school and family-but that is not the topic of this post. I recently made a tough decision. I have decided to go a different direction in my educational career, a choice that will ultimately change my entire life.

I have always been the creative type – one of my favorite pictures is one of around age 2 taking a photo of my mom in front of our house. It was a little Brownie camera but I loved it. Just recently mu husband and I were trying to re-organize our home office and we came upon box after box after freakin’ box of photo albums…all mine. Seems that I just couldn’t stop taking pictures and even today I am teased for always having a camera somewhere on my person.

In addition to photos, I love to read and to write. I have been winning awards for creative writing since elementary school and I don’t say that to brag. I simply have a love of story telling and when I get ideas I have to stop and write, whether on the backs of bev’ naps, brochures, receipts, etc. I know a lot of people think I’m just a little strange.

What makes things stranger is that I think in “video” when I hear music. For example, when I hear a song, my mind puts together a video in my head, even if I have never seen an actual video on TV for that song (which is often the case since I haven’t had cable in nearly 5 years and I refuse to buy one of those new TV’s when my nice practically new on plays all my DVD’s just as well.

So you may be wondering after all of this, where’s this big change?

So here it goes.

As a young girl, the child of two civil engineers, the granddaughter of a high school administrator, marine [spy], and an English professor with a double doctorate in psychology and English, it was naturally expected that I would do well. And in many cases I did. I was accepted into many of the advanced programs offered, went to camp and was an avid Girl Scout for years.

The one thing that I was never encouraged to really try in was science, despite a very early love of dinosaurs and history. For whatever reason, science, ecology, biology, chemistry – all seemed the domain of the young boys and I knew not to question it.

When I finally  made it to college I really enjoyed the PR and Journalism program at the Grady School of Communications at UGA. I learned so much and really had the chance to develop my writing and persuasion skills and felt confident heading out into the world.

I only had four interviews before getting hired, by the Georgia Department of Natural Resources, Wildlife Resources Division. A job I continue to hold, and one I love….know why? Because it opened my eyes, Everyday I learn more and more – how could I have missed this stuff in school? The subtle yet complex interactions between species, habitats, air and water quality….I was absolutely in shock that these things are not mandatory for all young people going through school. How can we ever expect to “save the planet” if we don’t understand the planet in the first place??

I began to really read and tag along in the field as much as possible. As a public affairs specialist it was up to me to convince people that our programs and projects are important and worthy of funds. I thought to myself, how can I do that if I don’t “get it” my self?

Now two years into what I hope will be a long career, I have seen up close a mom and calf North Atlantic right whale (less than 350 left in the world), held a federally threatened bog turtle and the leathery egg of a loggerhead sea turtle, as well as learn to measure the wingspan of an American Oystercatcher and help attach a radio transmitter to the back of a marbled godwit. I have stood a few feet away from 40 foot flames while assisting with a nearly 2000 acre prescribed burn. I have photographed bats and marveled at the thinness of their wings, swamped for bog restoration and banded geese at night.

I don’t say these things to brag, not at all, but to show that I have seen more of this state in my two years with DNR than in my nearly 27 years of living here. I am astounded that ever school child doesn’t learn about the most wonderful thing about our planet in more depth, the natural world.

So here is the change. Although I love grad school and the program I was undertaking – an MA in environmental non-profits, I have decided to switch programs to an MS in Conservation Ecology and Sustainable Development, with a certificate in the non-profit program, one in Environmental Ethics and another in Native Plants. I know the course-load is harder, but I just feel like being an ecologist will finally fill some void…some innate sense to seek out what I do not know. I am an addict…to learning. And I am hoping that  by completing this program, I will finally figure out where I belong.

Wish me luck!! (and if you have ever made a huge life change, I’d  love to hear about it!!)

where now?

Apr14

The ridiculousness of “stuff”

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I really want to simplify my life.

I am a super busy person and am starting to feel the crunch of having a few too many obligations. I looked at my life and asked where I could make cuts. (This is not easy if you work full time, go to grad school and have three kids, two of who play sports, let me tell you.) So far I have condensed my email subscriptions, reduced my magazine habit to those I can read in the waiting room or check-out line, avoid the mall and those dreaded “after-the-holiday” sales, and sworn off most prime time television. I reduced the number of clubs and organizations I am involved with and try to enjoy just being. However… there is one aspect of my life that I am having the hardest time simplifying. My STUFF.

By far one of my favorite blogs out there is On Simplicity. Recently I read the post about the “but I might need it someday” syndrome. I so understand this completely. I am a pack rat. Not in the weird keep-every-bottle-cap-I’ve-ever-found way, but more in a practical (or so I tell myself) I-may-have-a-use-for-it kind of way.

I will take a moment here and say that in my defense I did once make a complete “doll house” and “school bus” out of what my parents had deemed useless trash. (Did you know you can use those hard rounded rectangular mirror and flooring samples from the hardware store to make a cool over the seat-back rear-view mirror for an imaginary bus driver who is only 3 inches tall?? or that you can use the metal spout from a salt container to make an exhaust pipe for that same 1-foot long painted yellow bus?? yep it’s true.)

Anyway, the point is that as I am approaching yet another birthday, I find myself thinking more and more about just how much junk (yes the J-word)  I have, and how happier I might be if I could just get rid of some of it.

Getting past the idea that I might need it, the reasoning for shedding these things is deeper. They have become a burden. We live in a consumer driven culture, where bigger is better, and “why not just upgrade” thinking is the norm. Well, I am tired of the accumulation. There is so much that I don’t need, want or to be honest, even remember that I have in the first place. This “stuff” sits in drawers, on shelves, in the hallway closet, on the porch, in the garage, collecting dust and becoming obstacles that I indelibly trip over or dump out when I am trying to locate the “stuff” I really need.

Do I really need 75 coffee mugs when I only use 2, or three T.V.s all of which are now obsolete in the digital age? Maybe I will use those 10 phone books, or really find a use for the broken pieces of trellis, the poster board with both sides used or the infamous stop sign in the garage.I might fix the broken picture frames or eventually use the 10,000 “extra” buttons that every item of clothing you buy now cheerfully provides lest you lose one. Maybe…someday…right?

The absurdity of it.

So to get back to the point of this post, I was asked to write out a birthday list. I could have sat down and listed a bunch more “stuff” I could reasonably justify in getting, but this time I really tried to put some thought into it. I asked myself what I wanted, that could in no way qualify as stuff (meaning it would be incapable of taking of more room in my already packed house). It took a little while but when I was finished I admitted to myself that I was quite proud of what I had come up with.

Topping my list?  Time.

Time for laughter, my kids, music, rafting trips, writing, working in the garden, exploring, romantic dinners, new experiences, old favorites….

So, as I approach the end of another year on this glorious planet I am making the conscious decision that I will reduce my “stuff” to a more manageable load. I admit it is an experiment, so I have no idea what will happen. But check back once and a while and see if I am making progress. If my theory is correct, the difference will be obvious and far-reaching. I may not be ready to live in a hut with only the clothes on my back, but I expect to at least be able to open my over-stuffed drawers without yanking on them.

Wish me luck.

Jan17

life at the crossroads…

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So I have been blogging for two long years now, primarily over at my professional blog, and well, things are changing.

My perspective on life in general has changed tremendously over the last 24 months, for a number of reasons.  I graduated college, had another baby, got an awesome job, went back to college, got published, had my blog picked up by several independent sites, made some awesome blogger contacts, got married…

I love to blog, I love to write…and I am quickly learning that doing what you love is far more important than bringing home a paycheck, at least in the idealistic world in my head. I guess I never really been in sync with our capitalistic country that praises  the good girls and boys who play nice, work 9-5 and have neighborhood barbecues and outings at the local country club.

I have a family to support and granted writing for free will not keep the roof over their heads or put food in their bellies, but what kind of example would I be setting if I spent my life being miserable. Would they look back as adults and pity all that I had given up on, opportunities missed?

I tell my kids that anything is possible, that all they have to do is believe and then of course put in a ton of hard work (nothing great is ever easy you know). How can I sleep at night if I don’t follow my own advice?

I really want to become a role model for them, and to do that there have to be some serious changes made.

I made a list of new years resolutions like millions of others all over the world. I am afraid however that I have already abandoned the list and it is only the 17th day of the new year…

I really want to write about the things I am passionate about, and I worry that I am limited by my professional blog.

I am thinking seriously of shutting it down and hoping that my loyal readers will migrate with me over to this blog where I feel that I can really write more about life, balance, family, and of course the old standby, saving the planet.

If  Ryan Paugh can do it, well why can’t I? Maybe I am not a successful as he is, but he makes some very good points for making a change. After all I am turning 30 this year….so I guess I am not really a millennial for much longer. (certainly not by Brazen Careerist standards since they stop featuring you when you hit that magic number). Well we got a runner Logan, I am growing up through my writing and so maybe my blog needs to grow up too.