Category Archives: public relations

Jan22

The Year Of Healthy Living

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Back in the waning hours of 2009 I wrote what remains to be one of my favorite posts concerning the things I had accomplished the previous year. I promised to follow-up with a more traditional approach to the new year with both resolutions and a lovely idea courtesy of Ms. Holly Hoffman, picking a theme for the year. My choice: The Year of Healthy Living.
Well needless to say, I got a little sidetracked and here it is quickly approaching the end of January and I have yet to deliver on my promise. So for that I am sorry but in the spirit of my chosen theme-the year of healthy living-I am making the conscience decision to set aside my unrealistic perfectionist tendencies and simply pick up where I left off. After all mental health is just as important as being physically sound.

Although I would not classify myself as a sickly person, I think just about everyone I have ever known would agree (with no exaggeration intended) that I have cheated death on more than a few occasions. From tornadoes, to sinking houseboats to fires and car accidents, it seems I have been inches from an untimely end more times than I care to count. I am probably also the most accident-prone person in the world. Case en point: Just in 2009 I dislocated my jaw, suffered a severe concussion after a nearly drowning when a boat flipped over on top of me, broke my toe and my hand and then endured nerve damage to my shoulder. I also survived hypothermia, and pneumonia as well as a pretty severe allergic reaction to inhaling rhododendron while on the fire line.

I tend to be anemic, cold averse with extremely low blood pressure, have poor circulation, brittle bones and heart disease (the scary kind that makes you drop dead at 50) runs rampant in my family. I have already endured a hysterectomy for cervical cancer, gall stones, a ruptured liver duct, petit-mal seizures, at least seven broken bones and am nearly blind in my left eye from a degenerative disease of the cornea.

Most people I tell this too just stare at me. I suppose I am blessed to have made it to 30.

So on that depressing note – I have decided to make this the year of healthy living. I intend to be more cautious, eat better and exercise more. I will not avoid the doctor and the dentist for fear of another crazy diagnosis but instead be much more proactive about my health.

After all, I have three beautiful babies that I really want to be around for, for as long as I my time on this Earth allows. I know it won’t be easy and I will have to make some tough choices but I figure it people I admire like Holly can do it, than so can I.

Wish me luck.

I think I’ll need it!

Nov12

The Changing of the Guard: Understanding people’s reactions to change

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My graduate nonprofit class spent a great deal of time today talking about change. It got me thinking about how change can be harnessed, how people react to it, study it and how the concept of it is used everywhere from altering school board decisions to winning presidential elections.

Human beings are naturally resistant to change. We are creatures of habit and crave the comfortable security of our same-old, same-old comfort zones.

I’ve written before about the changes that the public relations industry is going through and how we must either adapt or be left behind. This post delves a little deeper into the process an individual (PR pro or otherwise) must go through when confronting change on a large scale, whether they are taking on a new client, electing a new president, accepting a new position or simply deciding that maybe your old ways of doing things are a little outdated and need a face-lift.

There are a couple things that one must take into consideration first, when contemplating a large-scale change within their current organization.

Create readiness. NEVER spring a sudden change upon staff or clients. You set yourself up for failure by doing this and may find yourself the victim of mutiny (or as it is called in the civilized world, a hostile takeover).

Show, don’t tell. Provide real examples; show the discrepancies between what works and what doesn’t. Having examples of successful organizations or firms that implemented similar changes are a huge plus and a strong motivational tool for those on the fence. Let them see how they will benefit and then on the flip side, provide examples of those which have remained stuck, with little innovation. The more extreme the distance between the two examples, the better tool this will be.

Okay, so you have implemented your changes. Excited, you expect big things but there is just one problem, not everyone is on board. Now what?

Overcoming resistance

There are three types of resistance to change. Cognitive, Emotional and Behavioral.

Cognitive resistance usually manifests itself in the most frustrating way. It is hard to identify and can be a real challenge when trying to educate your clients/friends/constituency or whatever. This is the person who smiles and nods and then politely ignores everything you have to say.

Emotional resistance has deeper roots and is harder to identify, but has some telling signals. It is generally based on years of decision-making and deep-seated convictions which will cause a person to shout, cry or become overwhelmed. It can be tough to remain calm, because an emotional person will look for you to be reactionary. Don’t play that game. You won’t win. Just be steady and tow the line.

Behavioral is the easiest resistance to spot – usually because the person is either screaming in your face, or if you are really lucky, throwing garbage or animal parts on you. Do not engage in retaliation. EVER. You will never appear to be the victor. As with those who cry and scream, remain calm, walk away and keep your finger’s crossed that eventually they will come to at least agree to disagree without any obvious sabotage.

So in light of all this, what do you do? Here is some information that will hopefully help you get through it, without having a nervous breakdown.

My place of employment is fairly resistant to change. It is still run primarily by men in their 50′s who look at me like I’ve grown a second head when I start talking about social networking and blogs. To be fair, they like the idea of it all, they just don’t really GET it, or how it can help their bottom line. Anyways….

There are three stages of change, much like the stages of grief. My professor did an awesome job of communicating the idea to us using the analogy of a sky-diver. First you make a decision, get over your fear, whatever. Then you have to go to the place and go through the safety course and then actually get on the plane. Lastly you have to jump. That’s a big one, involving a huge range of cognitive, emotional and behavioral sparks that all have to come together in your brain just right for you to actually get out the door of that airplane.

The first stage, oddly enough is the ending stage. This is where you are acknowledging that the way things have always been done is coming to an end. In my industry and many others this is known as the “changing of the guard“. It is a tough time for many. Letting go of your comfort level can be extremely difficult. You can help your employees and clients through this time by providing adequate support, additional resources for information and showing examples of those who have successfully gone before.

(This is assuming that you are not the first!! If so, then you just have to go for it or sit back and wait for someone else to fall on their face. )

The second stage is the neutral stage. In this stage you have pretty much accepted that things are changing, but you are not quite “there” yet. You are not fully opposed anymore, but you are not fully on-board either. You still have doubts. This stage is crucial. Think of the swing states in the election, the undecided voters. This is your chance to really shine and show what you are made of, and why the change will be so beneficial. This stage is all about showing, reinforcing and providing support. You must be prepared for setbacks, and it is not easy. You will have backsliders, but if you persist, you can and will reach the next stage…

Lastly you have the beginning stage. Ahhhh…new beginnings. Doesn’t everyone just love the honeymoon stage? Everyone is excited, and anything seems possible. You mustn’t lose sight however that you are not the first person to implement change. It is a never ending cycle of slowly fixing a system that is broken or appears to be now, but wasn’t always that way. Like a clock with a million tiny parts, it might take some time and effort to figure out not only what is wrong, but after fixing it, how to put it all back together again. It doesn’t always work the way you think it should, but that doesn’t make it wrong either. You may just have to modify your perception of what is “right” and “wrong”.

It is important to remember that real change takes time. Just as with all the excited people (me included) that got Obama elected, I can really feel that there is a fervor in the air that is truly palpable. Change is possible, but you still must go through the process, nothing good is ever easy.

We, as a nation must go through these steps of change together and my hope is that we make it through the tough times, in order to truly celebrate a new beginning.

Jun2

Being Imperfect Can Help Your Career

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There is a great article out in this month’s edition of Body and Soul magazine. The column by staffer Terri Trespicio details why it is important to cut yourself a little slack now and then.

Suffering from perfectionism myself, I was drawn to this article with a kind of fascination usually reserved for writing and re-writing and then writing again my blog posts

The point of the article is that there are steps we can take to break out of the perfectionist mind-set in order to empower our decisions so we can move forward with our lives both personally and professionally. Thanks to Terri for the great article.

Hopefully these things will help you as much as they did me.

  1. Remove your mental filter. – Perfectionists often only hear the negative news, letting the positive reviews go in one ear and out the other. Try readjusting your mental sieve and allow some of the good stuff to stick
  2. Discover the joys of getting it wrong. – Start looking at your flaws as opportunities for personal and professional growth. Nobody likes to be wrong but being able to accept and learn from mistakes will make you a better person both in and out of the boardroom. Dan Baker, Ph.D and co-author of What Happy Women Know, says this, “Think of making a mistake as paying tuition, once you’ve paid, you might as well learn the lesson.”
  3. Compare yourself to others, realistically. –Maybe you do enough of this, but you probably don’t see others with the same foggy filter you see yourself with. Try taking notice of your peers. Do they take shorter/longer lunch breaks, make the occasional typo, and lock themselves out of their cars? If they are not perfect then why should you be.
  4. Put people before things. – Put the people in your life before your stuff. This may seem like a no-brainer, but how often (and be honest here) do you find yourself late getting home again because you just had “one” more thing to get done at the office? How many relationships fizzle because one person is already married…to their job? It happens all the time so take a good look around now. If you log more hours at your desk than say the average mouse pad, you need more face time with your friends and family. Even if you are a busy CEO, taking some quality time will pay off in more ways than one as it is well established that happy workers (with happy families) are much more Productive, efficient and effective.
  5. Prioritize your perfectionism. – This too is hard to hear, since with all perfectionists, of course we want to be great at everything. The article states this however, “Instead of trying to master everything, pick some things you want to excel in.” As Penelope Trunk once stated in her book Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success, (and I am most definitely paraphrasing) specialization is a wonderful thing. Being a little good at everything (or half-assed at everything) will not win you any awards and will definitely not fatten your wallet. Pick a few tasks/topics/subjects etc. you really excel at and work on them. For me it is persuasive advocacy writing and graphic design particularly in regards to wildlife publications. I am by no means a scientist and can’t list the statistics of every endangered species but I can create a really pretty picture with words and photos that will make even the most hardened ant-environmentalist want to read more.
  6. Let a dirty sock be just a dirty sock. – Ahhh… the joys of a clean house. I admit that I am severely embarrassed to have people over to my house without say a month of advanced notice. Ok so maybe I am not that bad, but hey with three kids and both my partner and I working full time there is not a whole ton of time left over for house cleaning. The article claims that seeing small-scale messes as a personal failure is actually a cognitive disorder (do they make a pill specifically for the racing heart and cold sweaty palms I feel whenever I open my 10-year-old’s closet door, right before the entire contents come crashing down on my head? Probably) Anyhow, I take great pride in my work and my family and am starting to let go of the dirty sock as global disaster mindset. All three of my kids are turning out pretty darned well and I am succeeding at work and in my personal life so I must be doing something right, even if it’s not the laundry. Rather than react emotionally, see things like socks, dishes and dust for what they are, everyday facts of life that need tending to, not evidence of your incompetence.
  7. Focus on wellness not weight. – Another big one for me. After three kids I will never pass as a super model but being okay with myself is a constant challenge. In addition to personal (sometimes unrealistic) goals, there is also the added pressure of working is a somewhat public industry. Appearance does matter in public relations, however taking care of your self, having trimmed neat nails and clean suitable clothes are a heck of a lot more important than being the one on the office with the tiniest waist.
  8. Age gracefully. – A few wrinkles does not make you a bag lady, it adds character really! According to Baker what makes us truly attractive is more about confidence, carriage and hard-won wisdom rather than firm skin or how much you resemble a fashion model. And just a tip from me, those women who do go all out to look 20 years younger often come off as unprofessional or unapproachable or worse “that old woman from accounting with the peel on face and skin tight leopard-print skirt who gives me the creeps.” Don’t be that person.
  9. Counter the negative with a positive. – This goes back to number one on the list. Often perfectionists only hear the bad things and assume they are doing it all wrong. In order to stop this kind of thinking, try to automatically counter your negative thoughts with three happy ones. As corny as it seems, even having a list works wonders when you are at risk of sliding into the dumps. My list is wallet sized and changes periodically, but serves to remind me that I am a good mom, a good writer and a successful businesswoman.
  10. Kick black and white thinking to the curb.– Last of all get rid of the all or nothing mindset. There are shades of gray in just about every situation on Earth. Remind your self those temporary moments of insanity (having an extra dessert, a bad hair day or being 15 minutes late) does not mean you are fat or lazy or an incredible slacker. Give yourself credit for all you do right and understand that in the end we are all just human.

What do you do to beat your perfectionist tendencies? Does any one have some creative ideas or feel more should be added to the list? Send me a comment!

To read the entire article check out the June edition of Body and Soul Magazine.

May28

The New Generation of Super Moms

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In the current issue of the PRSA publication “Strategist” there is an entire article devoted to the concerns of having a family while building a career.

Assistant Professor of Public Relations and Journalism, Lorra M. Brown is of the opinion that motherhood poses significant obstacles for those of us looking to climb the ladder to public relations success. I have to admit, I agree with many of the points she makes. Yes there is guilt. Yes there is a certain amount of discrimination, especially in the PR world.

I admit my situation is far from the typical story, as I did not have children after entering the professional world, rather I began my career with three under my belt. Not something I would recommend in any case by the way. (Unless you just like doing things the hard way.)

Because I married young and foolishly and was divorced by age 21, my life took a slightly different track.

I didn’t start college until I was 22 years old and a single parent of one overly rambunctious little boy. Five years, a new spouse and two more children later I graduated at the age of 27. Because of my circumstances I felt that I didn’t have time for internships and crappy “just-while-I’m-in college” jobs that involved many hours for little pay. After all I had a family to feed. To that end I sacrificed experience or what some call “paying your dues” to try and get a jump on my career.

So I did what any woman in my situation would do. I did it all. I worked full time, went to school full time and managed to make it to nearly every one of my son’s baseball games. When it came time for me to graduate college and get a real job, I figured the transition would be easy. After all I had been working a real job albeit not in my desired field for nearly three years. How hard could it be?

Turns out, very hard.

I am sure there are many companies out there who would not hold the existence of three children against an interview candidate…. they have to exist, maybe I just didn’t meet them for the first six months I interviewed.

There is a law that states that you can’t discriminate based upon things like marital status or the number of children one might have. I never thought that it would happen to me and never was shy about mentioning my little darlings when prompted.

(**Please note that I was usually only prompted by having to explain my absence from the workforce due to maternity leave. It never occurred to me to lie and say I was traveling the world or some such nonsense.)

My husband eventually pointed out the error of my ways after one particularly bad interview in which I felt I was perfect for the job, but knew my resume was doomed for the circular file after my interviewers eyes glazed over after the mention of children. It was as if I had personally dumped a poopy diaper on her desk.

So what gives anyways? Yes being a mom often requires that I miss work for things like doctor appointments, baseball championships or other family obligations, but I find that since I started my job I miss no more work than my non-parent co-workers. At least I am not missing work to get my hair and nails done. I am very dedicated to my job and often pull overtime and work at home to make sure the quality of my work does not suffer.

I am lucky to have found an employer in the nonprofit sector that supports moms in the workforce although I will admit I probably make a good bit less than my counterparts in the corporate world. Most of us here have children, which certainly makes it easier to run home for a three year old with an ear infection or an acorn up his nose.

I still try to be a super mom, keeping up with the housework while working a 60-hour a week job and keeping up with baseball and boy scouts. I often bring work home. Some people ask how I do it but to me it is the way it has always been. Maybe those in my generation are used to doing it all, the masters of the multi-task. We don’t hesitate to work, have a family, run a blog, and go to school. It is all a part of our everyday lives.

I think that being a super mom is no longer about being a super executive while getting dinner on the table every night. It is more about doing the things you want, when you want and still maintaining a quality of life i.e. working. I applaud the younger generation that puts having a family on an equal footing with having a career. Both are important but it takes a strong person to maintain the balance. Our generation is full of just that type of people.

Lastly, there is a saying that behind every great man is a great woman…well I think the opposite is also true. I couldn’t be successful without my supportive hubby. Thanks for letting my inner super mom shine through.

Apr2

Conference Calls are Useless!

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I know I just wrote a post about not writing everyday, but this could not be put off..so here goes.

I am a card carrying, dues paying member of a professional group. In addition I participate as a committee member for an offshoot of said group called a professional interest section. Our executive board members are scattered all over the country, from Georgia to Wisconsin to Colorado to California and everywhere in between. Therefore, our monthly meetings are not accessible necessarily by a hop, skip and a jump to some sort of middle ground.

The answer to our location woes has been what many national corporations and organizations have long prescribed too, the conference call.

You know what I mean, three or more people scattered around the country all hovering over a speakerphone getting scratchy reception at best, and praying that you won’t be called on to contribute anything of real substance lest you make some sort of unforgivable gaffe that will be overheard by those with the real powers that be.

I take part in these fiascoes at least once a month. Do we accomplish anything? No.

Maybe it is unreasonable to expect a personal face to face meeting when you are scattered across hundreds or even thousands of miles. But it is my experience that there is absolutely nothing that can’t be accomplished with a conference call that couldn’t’be done with a series of emails. But let’s face it……the conference call isn’t going anywhere so…..let’s focus on at least making them more productive.

Be prepared! The scouts have it right; nothing will do more for your credible contribution than some good old fashioned brainstorming. If you are lucky enough to receive some type of agenda in advance, READ IT! That way you are not caught off guard and grasping at straws when your name is ultimately called upon for input.

Speak clearly. There is nothing worse than a handful of people all saying their version of “what?” in unison. This can be really bad when nobody has the courage to call out the garbled information, leaving the entire group to guess about the speaker’s intended message. Who suffers? Everybody, the company, the client, and ultimately your bottom line (meaning you!) unless of course you are independently wealthy and just don’t care. In that case, mumble away!

Stay in ONE location. I can’t tell you how annoying it is when a key member of the call is “commuting” between locations. I know we are all busy, but hey, you make the time for the call right? Then have enough respect for your fellow group members to sit still for the entire call rather than have the rest of us suffer through your signal dropping in and out (requiring us all to repeat ourselves a half-dozen times) or the sounds of car doors and the local traffic. At the very least, utilize the MUTE button if you can’t stay put.

Lastly, stay focused. Take notes and follow up immediately if there is something you don’t understand, or if you want to contribute something you were too dumbstruck to say during the call. Understandable if there is just so much background static that you are afraid of coming across like a chipmunk on steroids. (not the best reference but I love using that saying ever since I heard it, where else…on a conference call!)

Maybe, just maybe, my fellow board members will read this and take a few notes themselves, becoming more productive in the process. If not, well there is always next month. I can keep my fingers crossed certainly that things will improve. Worst case scenario? I muscle through my term as a lowly committee member and run for committee chair next year, maybe then we will finally get something accomplished via (what else?)a conference call.

Does anybody else think that certain tried and true business practices are useless and a waste of time? If so please share them. I love a good rant!